My Kind of Jeopardy


I love the game show Jeopardy…it’s the only game show I’d watch. I like to see if I can guess the answers faster than the contestants can…usually I find I’m too dumb for the show, unless celebrities are on II used to love it when SNL would mock the show, I learned how to impersonate Sean Connery by watching that. Pure comedy.

I’d love to see a vulgar Jeopardy. Not vulgar as in gross questions or NC-17 rated contestants, I mean I think we’d all throw up if we saw Alex Trebek in leather. I mean like:

Contestant: I’d take physics for $200, please

Alex: An apple landed on this fucker

Contestant: Who was…Oppenheimer?

Alex: Wrong Dumbass! Anyone else?

Constestant # 2: Who was…KMFDM?

ALEX: Wrong Beeyotch! What the hell are you smoking!? Contestant #3?

Contestant #3: Who was Newton, fuckers!

Alex: Yes…that is it for $200. By the way, only I can use the word fucker…fucker.

If I was ever on the show, I’d get kicked out after thirty seconds for all that vulgarity.

Victory Not Vengeance


“In distant days I long to sense it all so clear.”

Let me see…if I was a conceived hell spawn borne from the unholy union of light and darkness, today would have been the day I burst unsuspectingly into the world, a harbinger of the last age of gloom and despair as the Earth is plunged into it’s final days. However, I’m not. Instead it has been nine months since I left the Golden State and drove the twenty five hours I do not ever want to relive ever again into the State where everything is bigger…yay me….

(Yeah…this post is a day early…FUCK YOU!)




“I’ll cast you spell…a magic where everyone plays dead forever…”
-The Birthday Massacre


More...Much More than meets the Eye!


A report on the status of the Transformers movie is at . There’s a big human cast attached to the movie…I hope the movie is not about them (and I hope the first image on the movie is Megatron squishing Bernie Mac).



You gotta love Jack’s hooded sweatshirt. I think he stole it from Harry Potter. DAMMIT POTTER! I NEED THIS NOW! THE SECURITY OF THE COUNTRY IS AT STAKE! That and the almighty Jack Sack is back! As well as Black Bauer! Didja see how Black Bauer’s team took down Robocop’s team? Regular Jack couldn’t do that! Plus- Robocop says DAMN! And not DAMMIT! But the FLOTUS says DAMMIT! Heller’s dead? He at least redeemed himself. Is Audrey still drippy? Looks like she dried up a bit. So, is the Homeland Security Lady on our side now? Will the harassment thing return to haunt the other Homeland Security Guy (I hope so)? Jack on a plane? Are there any Chinese Diplomats on board? I hope so! But it looks like they’re full of Europeans; Jack’s already pissed off the Germans, is the entire EU next?

And what if (as other internet people have wondered) the plane crashes on an island and the all end up…LOST? This Jack and his magic bag will figure out the deal with the island…in 24 hours or less!


Plus from my Spam (because you all love potted meat):

You know you grew up in the 80's if......

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE."
2. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and can do the
3. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
4. Two words: Hammer Pants.
5. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
6. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a
knot on the side.
7. You wore stone washed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
8. L.A.Gear....need I say more?
9. You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona Quimby books.
10. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."
11. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (Some of us...head-to-toe).
12. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell
off and his cheeks shifted.
13. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
14. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes (and probably in neon colors,too).
15. After you saw "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" you kept saying "I know you
are, but what am I?
16. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up."
17. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
18. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
19. You have played with a Skip-It.
20. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
21. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
22. "Don't worry, be happy."
23. You wore, like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
24. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do).
25. You remember boom boxes.
26. You remember Alf, the li'l furry brown alien from Melmac.
27. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
28. You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART."
29. (You just sang those words to yourself.)
30. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird. Oh wil be that good again
31. Homemade Levi shorts... (The shorter the better.)
32. You remember when mullets were cool!
33. You had a mullet!
34. You still sing "We are the World."
35. You tight rolled your jeans.
36. You owned a banana clip.
37. You remember "Where's the Beef?
38. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
39. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
40. You wanted to be a 'Goonie'
You're still singing "Shot through the Heart" in your head, aren't you!!!


Merry Christmas!

Folks...I present my biological Mom and Dad!


Funny how I have a Cure poster in my cubicle but it’s only when I wear a Cure shirt do people say “Wow- you’re a fan of the Cure!?”

Which is usually followed by “You’re not old enough to be a fan of the Cure1” or “Geez- they’re a depressing band” or both.

Happy Birthday to my personal God Robert Smith by the way (so is this Christmas for me? Nah, not really). I’ve listened to the cure since 1993 and currently need three arms to count all the times I’ve seen them. And I expect to see them many more times until Fat Bob comes on stage in a wheel chair. Their more recent albums aren’t great as a whole although the songs are still as good as ever (The End of the World is as fun a pop song as Boys Don’t Cry and Lost is as intense as anything on Disintegration).

JJ Abrams is directing a new Star Trek movie with Kirk and Spock at . I wonder if I can audition for the young Sulu? I wonder if Rimbaldi is gonna show up? <0>

Finally saw the Douglas Adams Doctor Who episodes…Pirate planets and six Mona Lisa’s? Good stuff





No Fart of God last night…but who knows what today may bring?

Anyway- I finally saw the Dalek episode of the new Doctor Who last night compliments of Holly’s co-worker who tapes them. As this Doctor would say…”Fantastic”. I believe this is what is called continuity porn by geeky fanboys. The archvillian of the series, a cameo by the head of the other archvillian of the series (the Cyberman head), evil Americans and we find out that the Doctor is the last of his species (the Dalek supposedly so too- but we don’t believe that for a minute). It was a fun episode…more intense than the ones we’ve seen before as the Doctor gets mad and angry, Rose gets EX-TER-MI-NA-TED but not killed, 24-style torture and soldier men get killed left and right. Nice to see the plunger arm of the Dalek get to be used and not just made fun of. Ahhh…peppershaker thing was pretty cool…looks like stairs don’t stop it too. Fun, fun, fun…this is the best new show this year…

Five Stars (Man…I’d love to have a Tardis)

Also saw bit and pieces of the last of six new Alias episodes last night…well, mostly bits…I did see Winifred Burkle blow up a helicopter and casually walk away as it crashes behind her in slow mo. That was cool…everything else was…eh…why bother…

One Star for Winifred.


One of these days, these boots'll walk all over you...

PS: This is not the movie I saw last night...


You’ll never know what joy you’ll find amongst the unwanted…and the abandoned.

Or something like that. A line paraphrased from the movie Kinky Boots which I saw last night. Yes- I watch lots and lots of movies about drag queens…I am from California, we’re all like that. I remember once clubbing with Mel, her friend D-Mode Jen & D-Mode Jen’s boyfriend- Mel would go to some of the queens and just oogle them and wondering how they got to pretty themselves up.

But anyway- the movie was okay…very predictable (complete with that Nancy Sinatra song destroyed by Jessica Simpson but totally awesome covered by KMFDM) and one those movies that looks to be laugh yourself silly but is more dramatic than anything else. Good performance from the guy who was the young Uncle Owen in the Star Wars Prequel and you’ll never watch Serenity the same way again as the bad guy in that film is the one wearing the Kinky Boots. Complete with cheating fiancées and cute-as-a-button girl you know the lead will end up with at the end of the movie. But hey- Nick Frost is in this movie as well! Visions of Ed with his ‘Got Wood’ shirt fighting off zombies and the guy teaching us how to survive falling into a falling lake swirl around your head…but he plays an asshole in this film. Pretty convincingly as well…nice to know he has range and not just the funny sidekick. Now I gotta see Shaun of the Dead again… (side note: looks like Simon Pegg plays the ‘Marshall from Alias’ bit in the new MI:III movie…)

But see one ‘based on a true story’ movie, you’ve seen them all…3 stars for enthusiastic performances but really, nothing else.


Your mandatory 24 weekly review


Cool things: 35% off stuff at Borders (except magazines)….their rewards program is pretty decent. My stash? MI-5 Season 3 (finally) and a couple of Doctor Who DVD’s- watching the new series has awakened an interest in the dude.

Not so cool? Taxes…sigh…and for some reason I’m missing So Cal more than usual. I miss the Pacific…oh, and places are closed here in Austin for Easter Sunday. Yep- I’m a god-less heathen…

Oh, well.

It’s been burning here lately- high 90’s and low 100’s. But weather reports say that a cold front is fast approaching and temperatures might hit…wait for it…wait for it…the low to mid 80’s.

Yeah, whatever.


Jack is such a bad ass that he shot a tanker of water and it blew up. But Robocop is also bad ass…was it partly revenge that he cut Audrey just as Jack shot his wife? Ohh…drippy Audrey! Is she long for this world? She only 15 minutes left to live? What’s up with her Dad? He earns bad ass points for cold clocking Jack! Where’s Agent Pierce!? Did he just get killed off screen? That would suck! Big Time! Is the VP a good guy or is he just stupid? Mike Novick figured it all out! Lots of tiny blittle squares at the end- that was cool…plus a mini CTU at Buchanan’s house! Hah! Six episodes left in the season. You know what they say…WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Four Stars



Quick 24 Power Hour Review:

Carl Mossman lives up to be one of those memorable one-episode characters kinda like the campers from last season. The all powerful Devane is back…will he be able to take down the President? Why is Audrey wearing a winter coat in LA? It’s never winter in LA. Terrorist henchmen vs. LAPD vs. The Army? Who wins? Jack, of course.

4 Stars…but is Evelyn dead? Will the FLOTUS turn against her husband? Is Agent Pierce a badass? (Yes) …Will Principal Wood avenge his brother (and for the audience Almeida?)

Se7en episodes left…something big is gonna happen next episode…I bet you someone else dies….


24 + Casting News for you wannabe actors


Before we proceed- from Dark Horizons:

"24" star Kiefer Sutherland has inked a deal with 20th Century Fox Television that will see him attached to the hit series for three more years reports Reuters.The pact calls for the actor to continue on the hit Fox drama for that time (which would take the series to eight seasons in total, ending in May 2009), and includes a two-year development deal for Sutherland's soon-to-be-launched production banner. Sources estimate the acting portion alone at more than $40 million for the three seasons, which could make Sutherland the highest paid actor in drama series. He will also serve as executive producer on the next two seasons of the show which is currently experiencing its best ratings ever and regularly securing a place in the Top 15 programs of each week.The deal doesn't include a film version of the show which Sutherland says the producers are committed to. The earliest any "24" feature film would see release though would be 2008.”

PPPS: Casting Stuff
Reply to: thewilshireblvd@gmail.comDate: 2006-04-07, 3:29PM PDTAn all-new Asian-American Pilot titled “Wilshire Blvd.” is currently casting for its primary roles. The story is about 8 friends, 4 guys and 4 girls, post-college years, all from different Asian ethnicities. It’s a Real World type shooting meets Sex in the City narrative story telling. All major Asian ethnicities represented in the show. We want the show to break down all barriers and stereotypes at the same time showcasing our unique cultures and talents. It’s a great and smart story line to follow and we know we have something here that’s never been done before, and so we’re real excited about this project. We’ve been in pre-production all year and can’t wait to shoot. So far this is a Non-Union project but we welcome Union talent to come and submit. We’re looking for all new faces and so if you fit any of the characters below, then please don’t hesitate to submit your headshots and resumes. Main-Roles Justin – 25 Half Asian – Half White Stephanie – 23 Chinese-American Pei – 25 Chinese-American (Must know some Mandarin) Joel – 27 Filipino-American Quynh – 24 Vietnamese-American Danny – 26 Japanese-American Koy – 26 Chinese/Taiwanese (Must speak good Mandarin or Taiwanese) Jenn – 25 Korean-American (Must know some Korean) Sub-Roles (Re-Occurring) Heather – 25 Filipino Jae – 27 Korean (Must speak Korean) Paul – 29 African-American Each of the main characters are all written equally and each of them are diverse and unique in their own way. No two people are alike and each will try to represent a certain demographic. We are only taking submissions at this time and will let everyone know of an open-casting call as soon as we work out the dates. Also, if you're looking at this to just make money, then don't bother. We're here to try and make a difference, a positive change and hopefully break into Hollywood the old fashion way. TALENT. *CL is not the only place we will be posting this at so please ONLY submit once. And if you want to get involved with the project in any other way then let us know. Thank you and have a pleasant day.
· this is in or around LOS ANGELES
· no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
· Compensation: To Be Determined


PSS: Wanna be a Zombie?
Director Grace Lee is starting production on a low-budget DV feature called American Zombie, and they're in need of lots and lots of extras. They'll be shooting in and around Los Angeles. If you want to be part of the movie shoot/crazy zombie party, see here:
Dear Friends,
We are in need of extras for our film American Zombie. If you or any of your friends, family and acquaintances would like to participate, please help spread the word! It could be ideal for aspiring actors, students, or anyone who wants to see how a film set works. Their are some very fun spots in the film that need to be filled. For example: a dead couple, park volunteers, protestors, zombies and many more. The shooting days are between April 11th and May 6th. Unfortunately it is unpaid, but food and good times will be had by all. If you, or anyone you know are interested please contact Conall Jones as soon as possible at or call 323-467-8565.
Thank you.
Should be a fun time.

PS: Wanna be in Transformers?

April 8, 2006Prime Directive
Seeking M/F talent for various roles in Dreamworks/Paramount feature filmProject Type: Feature FilmUnion Status: Non Union, SAG, SAG-Eligible Pay Scale: SAG Scale
Submissions must be received by: 4/13/2006 "PRIME DIRECTIVE" Feature Film DREAMWORKS/PARAMOUNT SAG & NON-SAG Exec. Producers: Steven Spielberg & Michael Bay Producers: Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Ian Bryce, Don Murphy, Tom DeSanto Director: Michael Bay Start Date: May 22, 2006 Location: New Mexico/Los Angeles/ N.Y. Both SAG and Non-SAG talent will be auditioned for this project. Please only submit if you fit the given descriptions exactly. Seeking:
Officer Jorge Figueroa AKA "FIG": 20's, Male, Dominican by way of the Louisiana Bayou. Chief Warrant officer in the Army. Spirited fellow who loves to sing. Close team member of Lennox. Glen's Grandma: Female, African-American, 50's/60's/70's. A bit off her rocker. This feisty Grandma keeps tabs on what Glen is up to (2 scenes). Mr. Hosney: Male. Caucasian. 40's. Sam's History teacher. Bored, over it kind of guy (1 scene). Big Rhonda: Female, African-American, 30's/40's. Feisty, assertive pawn shop owner (1 scene). Bobby Bolivia: Male. 30's/40's. Any ethnicity. This guy could sell ice to an Eskimo. Tries to get Sam to buy a car. Your typical wheelin' dealin' used car salesman (1 scene). Mahfouz: 13 years old, Bedouin boy. (Bedouin is an Arab of any of the nomadic tribes of the Arabian, Syrian, Nubian, or Sahara deserts). He loves chocolate and gets excited when the soldiers bring him some. He lives in a Village close to where Lennox and his team are stationed, and has befriended the soldiers. All submissions MUST contain email addresses because appointments will be given via email. Please read these directions carefully:
1. Place a post-it-note with the name of the project and character you are submitting for on the front of your picture. 2. Make sure your email address is on your resume. All appointments will be given out via email. We will not be able to call you in if we do not have your email address. 3. Mail your picture/resume so that it is received NO LATER THAN Wednesday, April 12th. Use First Class US Post Office only. Do NOT send overnight packages or anything that requires a signature. Do not drop your picture off at our office. Only US mail submissions will be accepted. Please send hardcopy submissions to:ATTN: PRIME DIRECTIVE (the name of the role you are submitting yourself for) Mitchell/Rudolph Casting 70 West 36th Street Suite 1006 New York, NY 10018 AABSOLUTELY NO PHONE CALLS, EMAILS, DROP OFFS OR PICTURE FAXES
March 30, 2006




So, what does film noir mean to you?

To me, it means a Raymond Chandler evening. A gumshoe detective- down on his luck in the city of angels of our dreams, dames to kill for, questionable insider tips, shadows and light and the smell of a cigarette mixing with the smoke coming out of a recently fired revolver. To me, film noir is Philip Marlowe, Marv from the Sin City books and Tracer Bullet from the Calvin & Hobbes strips.

Good noir tales all tale the same story. A poor schmuck trying to catch the bad guy, no matter the odds- which are always against him.

Which leads me to the movie Brick. If you’ve seen any film noir or read any of the Chandler, Sam Spade, Sin City books- you know the story. You’ve seen it plenty of times. Yes- it’s set in high school…Veronica Mars does the same thing- but this embraces its roots down to the bone. It replaces the archetypes of noir with the archetypes of noir- the principal being the law, the beauty queen insider etc…and tells the tale of a shamus only looking for the ones responsible for the death of the only girl he ever loved. The tale twists and turns and delves into other tales but in the end only one thing matters to this shamus: Who did it?

Plenty of reviews of this movie out there…read them if you want. It’s better if you actually see it.

5 stars.


A little bit more...


Covenant actually hail from Sweden.


Regarding last night’s episode of 24: the pacing seemed a little off…a bunch of stuff happened but it seemed forced. No real tension up until the final bits. Stuff we’ve seen before, like someone’s kid is in danger, extreme office politics and that guy who just seemed to be another pencil pusher? Turns out he used to be a marine. True- he never saw combat but still. Too bad they hyped up the ‘is Jack dead’ bit…I wished they waited a little longer before revealing that he was safe. Too bad too that Sandrine Holt is just a concerned parent- I was hoping she’d be another super-spy or something…but it’s still nice to see her in something.

Also nice to see Agent Pierce…who’s turning out to be quite the fan favorite. Really hope he’s immune to all the death that’s coming around the show lately. Also nice to see Principal Wood to the honorable John Woo thing and waiting for the guy to turn around so he doesn’t shoot him in the back. Shooting people in the back is for sissies.

Why does Robocop keep running away? I know he is supposedly better than Jack because he taught Jack everything he knows…but Habib Marwan did the getting away at every chance bit last season. Hope Zombie Almeida returns for his rightful vengeance.


By the way, Holly and I figured out that the President is evil early on…or at least said wouldn’t it be interesting if the VP was just another red herring and the Prez is totally evil. So, is he totally evil? Is someone pulling his strings? Has he got us fooled? What will the FLOTUS do or is she in on it? Will Bill Buchanan learn the truth or will he be next season’s bad guy?

COME ON! WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week- Jack, Principal Wood and the chick from Once A Thief versus the American Military.

A filler episode- but a good one.

And the President is still evil. Same goes for the one in the show.

On a different note- kudos to UT Professor Eric Pianka. Last week he gave a speech about human overpopulation that was misconstrued by the public as support for genocide. No- his point was that if we keep up the way we have- we will deplete the planet’s resources and deprive ALL living beings of items necessary for life. I especially like his comment reminding that humans are not the only living beings on Earth.




Last night's episode of 24 confirmed what the majority of the public knows already: THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS EVIL.



We all love Chun Li.

Admit it.


Warm enough to wear shorts all weekend. But it’s freezing right now. Like an airline cabin here…feels like the air is pressurized and recycled.

It’s April. How about that? No April Fool’s Jokes were played except that I haven’t been paid yet. And the stupid backhoe digging away and being loud that I can’t hear my TV all weekend long.

The Austin Record Convention was back in town. A Biannual affair, one of my favourite events set in this town as vendors come by with…stuff. Mostly Holly and I look for affordable DVD’s, as well as music. Ahh…bootlegs. They still try to call them ‘imports’. Unless they have something I haven’t heard yet…I don’t need another live show of this or that. The internet has pretty much erased my desire for bootlegs as if you search hard enough you can download what you’re looking for.

The Convention was fun- always fun to see who’s there and what’s there.

Swag picked up at the Austin Record Convention and during the weekend:

Mindless Self Indulgence: You’ll Rebel to Anything- I can’t listen to this at work. Too much cussin’. Short and very punk…but with an electronic edge. Gotta listen to it more.

Wumpscut: Bonepeeler- all his albums sound alike and I suspect this one will too. Buy one Wumpscut and you’ve bought them all. Still…I have two of his CD’s (one’s the single for I Want You…an awesome song and some awesome remixes…but totally inappropriate for work). The tunes are somehow great as background noise whilst heavy thinking is involved)

Covenant: United States of Mind- More German electronic music-yay! A lot of people compare their music to VNV Nation- but I find their music not as danceable to. More mellow- and more…song based? I don’t know- less emphasis on the beats and the electronica…needs more listening to as well.


ST: TNG Season 4 (hope it’s better than season 2)
Transformers: Beast Machines (loved Beast Wars and enjoyed this show when it aired. Missed a bunch of episodes though. Looking forward to seeing it in order. Love the Megatron in this show!)
Doom (I’m expecting cheesy fun…nothing more)
Transporter 2 (see comment for Doom)
Bataan Rescue (PBS special- looked interesting…I knew of this but never knew the whole story)
Snoopy Come Home (I remember this growing up…a puppy on a cross country voyage to visit it’s original owner…hope the years haven’t made it sappy)
A Boy Named Charlie Brown (I don’t remember this growing up…see comments below)
Tori Amos Video Collection (her music is a time capsule of me and my life circa 1997-1999 when I listened to her the most. Don’t care about her albums past the first two…and she always had pretty music videos)
House of Fury (I have a bootleg of this…so I give my penance by double dipping. A fun throwback to the HK of the 90’s with cheesy but lovable lighthearted stories and Yuen Wo Ping)
Chef Series 2 (Lenny Henry is hilarious)

Movies seen:

Election by Johnnie To- Interesting…To’s movies are a conundrum. The good ones are REALLY good and the bad ones aren’t that bad- just mediocre. Take a look at the well loved The Mission (begs a rewatch for me- especially since I’ve seen more To movies since then- when I first saw The Mission- I expected every HK gangster flick to be John Woo- an unjust comparison. There is only one John Woo. And Only one Johnnie To). This one- well, if you’re expectations are of a classic HK triad flick- be disappointed. But if you’re looking for a reality based gangster drama you’ll love it. A nice reflection to the recent Vin Diesel movie ‘Fine Me Guilty’ where they make the real life gangsters of the Mafia lovable stereotypes. In this movie- you see the Triad members treated as the criminals they are…violent and self serving. There’s a sequel coming soon. 3 ½ Stars

A Boy Named Charlie Brown- Wow- that’s kid’s depressed. The movie held up pretty well after thirty years since its initial release. Very charming. 5 Stars

ST: TNG Season 2 - not the whole thing- but the last five or so episodes…worst Star Trek season…ever! Complete with a really, really cheesy clip show! Alright- there were some decent episodes and the bad ones were MST3K bad- not cringing bad (although few were close). 2 Stars

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